YOU DON'T KNOW SOMEONE'S FEELING. DON'T TAKE THEM FOR GRANTED.

Your word from...
A Maturity.
A Promises.
A Hope.

To...
A Lie.
A Reason.
A Fake.

It is still affected me. ONLY ME.

I Think You are being...

You are being selfish.

You came to me when you are down looking for yourself. You didnt realized that you giving fake hopes and promises to make me stay. When you are built stronger, you leave me alone. You didnt realized your words "I did try my best. I just cannot feel anymore" tear my heart apart.

It is not because you cannot heal yourself. You are actually being selfish to yourself. To us.

Hahahaha.

Ahha

Okay, today I attended one job interview in one Hotel at Bangi.  Nearby my office.

It is a quite smooth interview session, discussing about job scope and all.

Nervous, frankly speaking, yes I did. Well, who doesn’t? 😅

So as the session went, we came to the topic that kinda important as well, even though most of my reading recommended to not touch about this issue, or slightly ask only, which is “Expected Salary”.

Ahha.

But, I tell you, I am not the first one who touch this issue. The interviewer did. Hahaha. 

So he started;

Interviewer: “What is your expected salary?”

Me: “Salary that equivalent with my qualification and experience”.

Oh ya, to add, me myself who look like Secondary school kid come to the office looking for my mom has been working for one year and a month now. Believe it or not? Hahaha. 😂

Cont…

Interviewer: “What is the maximum salary you expect?”

Me: “RM2,***”

Interviewer: “Okay, what is the lowest you can go?”

Me: “RM2,100”

Interviewer: “How much you gain now?”

Me: “RM1,***”

Interviewer: “So, from your lowest expected, any lower than that?”

Me: “Not lower that my current salary. Hehehe”

Interviewer: “So you are leaving with your parents, working area is nearby, and I believe your journey is not that expensive. And yet, you still single. Except if you are married and have 2-3 kids, it can be consider. Your car how much per month? Other expenses? So from your current salary now, you have around RM800 more. Lebih”

Me: “…”

Wow wow wow. Hold on for a second sir.

First of all, kereta aku tak pakai minyak meh? Harga minyak dah la turun naik tiap minggu. Duit minyak dgn toll belum kira lagi. RM800 tolak duit minyak tinggal berapa kerat? Habis tu aku tak da saving ke? Semua aku makan perabis ke? The way he talked just now, like he just immigrated to Malaysia. Haiyo, I feel like want to knock on your head. Hahahaha.

You know what, this is the first time I encounter with such interviewer. My previous experience with job interview session did not touch seriously on salary issue. Yang hini, eh siap tolong kirakan balance gaji.

And the funniest part is, I cannot voice out. Nothing come out from my mouth. Haiya

So now, I do not know whether to accept the offer or not. Deep in my heart ask me to reject the offer. But, my second interview session during lunch hour just now, I said yes. Hahahaha

But, my “Restu” (Ibu Ayah) said, reject the offer. 😖

My Self- Healing

Being positive can mean in two ways:

1) Matured; and
2) Self- healing

WILL 3 WORDS CHANGE EVERYTHING?

Is saying "I Miss You" could change everything?

Feelings, Emotions, Mood, Self Esteem etc

Like "everything"?

If Yes, then I Love You ❤

Mimpi Yang Tak Terungkap

Aku kat satu resort tepi pantai. Lawa. Exotic resort.

Aku dengan seorang lelaki. Aku tak nampak jelas muka lelaki tu tapi perasaan aku mcm dia tu suami aku, berpakaian jubah putih. Masa tu aku dalam bilik, tetiba lelaki ni masuk ajak aku keluar kat balcony tengok laut. Resort aku tu satu tingkat je (Gambar sebagai hiasan hahahaha).

So dia tarik tangan aku bawa keluar ke balcony. Dia kata,

"Malam ni akan jadi satu keajaiban. Jom lah tengok".

Mulut dia cuma senyum je dan tak bercakap pon. Tp aku mcm dengar kata2 dia.
So aku keluar la turun balcony tu, pijak pasir dan jalan kedepan sikit. Aku nampak depan mata aku jauh ke tengah laut tu percikan bunga api. Lepas tu laut tu bertukar jadi tanah. Lepas je nampak bunga api tu, tanah mcm meletup dan merekah. Aku tak tahu macam mana nak explain. Haa mcm ni.

Dari satu baris melintang ke satu baris, makin lama makin dekat ke aku. Dan colorful. Ye, letupan dan rekah tanah tu colorful. Aku dah takut dah. Kot la tsunami ke apa. Aku nak lari dah sbb aku takut nanti jatuh dalam tanah tu. Mesti gelap.

Tapi kaki aku tak bergerak. Keras berdiri kat situ. Aku pandang kaki kanan aku, pelik kenapa kaki aku tak gerak. Bila rekahan tu sampai kat kaki aku, tetiba dia bertukar jadi air. Seperti ombak. Aku yg masih tgok kaki aku tak bergerak tu, tetiba boleh gerak, kuis kuis pasir laut yg basah. Bila aku angkat kepala dan tengok, rekahan tanah td tu jadi laut semula. Dan colorful sama mcm color rekahan tanah tadi.

Aku terpaku. Terdiam. Macam mana rekahan tanah muka bumi tadi tetiba jadi laut yang tenang berwarna-warni. Lawa weh. Sumpah lawa color dia.

Ntah mcm mana aku terpandang sebelah kanan aku, ternampak lelaki yang aku rasa macam suami aku tu. Sebab view tu buat aku macam terlupa akan keadaan sekeliling hahaha. Lelaki tu senyum je kat aku weh. Manis.

Lepas tu aku tetiba berlari nak mandi air laut tu. Lelaki tu tak bagi, dia macam nak tarik tangan aku supaya jangan pergi tapi tak tercapai. Dia tengok aku happy dgn air colorful tu dia biarkan je. Perati dri jauh. Makin lama aku main, makin aku ketengah laut. 

Dan aku terjaga. Tapi aku tak tengok jam pon. Sedar gitu2 je lepas tu terlelap semula. 3 hari weh aku fikir mimpi ni. Aku ingat semua dgn jelas.

Sebenarnya ada lagi sambungan mimpi tu lepas aku terlelap tu. Tapi aku tak tahu macam mana nak cerita, nak describe suasana dan perasaan masa tu. Dan semuanya sangat jelas dalam kepala otak aku.
Rasa mcm aku betul2 kat tempat dan waktu tu. Sebab aku boleh ingat semua. Kalau mimpi biasa2 kan, bila bangun tidur je tak boleh recall mimpi.

And ni first time aku dpt mimpi pelik mcm ni. 

Nak kata aku ovethinking sebelum tidur, tak ingat pulak. Rasanya tak da.
Nak kata aku tidur tak baca doa, aku baca dah. Pon tak boleh yakin dah baca ke belum.
Aku terlebih tengok tv ke?

Hmm

I Pray

What I want to have?

What I want to do?

What I want to be?

What do I want?

You see, sometimes it is really hard to clearly explain and list out what you want in your life.

Sometimes you know.

Sometimes you do not know.

Hoping this is the best for me. Thank you Allah.